For the last month, I’ve referred to myself numerous times as a tiger. There is a reason behind this only few people understand. From this blog, I will clarify the reasons the best I can without writing a huge book.
Most of my friends and fans know that I officially began my book signing tour in January 2014 full of hope and excitement and by October, I had lost my passion, my zeal and almost my health from traveling and promoting myself. I was roadkill. After a few weeks of rest, my marketing representative suggested I spend my downtime from traveling doing online promotions. This was fun at first because I could hide behind my computer until I saw the truth, I was facing the biggest giant I’d ever seen. The book writing competition is a fierce beast.
I cried out to God, “Lord, what have I gotten myself into? I’m going to need your help if I’m called to face this giant! I don’t want to fail you!”
Loud and clear, I heard HIS voice say in my spirit, “Resurrect your tiger! I gave her to you for a reason!”
I didn’t want to hear that! The tiger He was referring to was not a nice beast to be around and only one person on this planet was able to calm it down and lock it up and was and still is Ralph W. Price, III, my husband.
The tiger mentality came alive in me, after I’d been abused and mistreated for a very long time. I needed the mindset to protect me and my child in order to survive. I trusted only three people in this whole world, my small daughter, my daddy and my best friend at that time Debbie Green. Men were playthings back then. I used them and threw them away when I was finished…until Ralph. Ralph is the sweetest, kindest and easiest person to ever be around and he tamed the savage beast in me.
Again, I cried out “Lord, I don’t understand. You said to love my neighbor and this cat doesn’t love easily. Please explain why you want me to be so mean spirited.”
Loud and clear, again, I heard HIM ask, “Do you love me? Wasn’t I the reason you wrote the first book?”
Holy smokes I thought! He was right! My passion came alive again at that point and I knew the beast had to be resurrected. Immediately I remembered a song that use to spur me through hard times and I asked friends on Facebook to help me find it. The song was an oldie by Survivor called “The Eye of the Tiger.” I listened to this song over and over and every verse fit my situation to a tee. My passion was back! I was hungry again and ready to hit the streets because I had my purpose burning deep inside like a roaring flame. After that, I called my rep and told him to start finding me venues for 2015.
I continued online promotions like a crazy person. My mental cat was focused on out promoting my competition (erotic romance, horror, violence and gore) until another giant came along, the big business mentality. A domineering and haughty attitude was trying to force me into doing something I didn’t want to do. The cat, I’d resurrected, went insane! I wanted to rip someone’s head off and eat it! This time, Ralph couldn’t calm it down. He left our house and went hunting.
A third time, in less than 2 weeks, I cried out to God. “What do I do? This ugly business attitude isn’t coming against me. It is trying to disrespect you through my work.”
He spoke to me again, and asked, “Where did I have you working the last twenty-three years? Remember your training and apply it to this situation.”
Cool beans, I thought! My tiger can have a feast and not make a mess. I need to stop here and clarify by saying, I worked in a state government tax office as the office secretary. Every day I was on the frontline of attack and had to face angry employers. When I began the job, my District Tax Manager told me “do not fear anyone the law pertaining to unemployment tax has your back. Angry and nervous people are afraid of you so be as nice as you can while standing your ground and let the system work.”
I knew I had a greater law backing me other than state government. So, I went to scripture and quickly read the story of David and Goliath. There I found my answer! David killed the giant in the spirit realm first, with five references giving God glory, before ever throwing his stone.
I called the bully back and demanded my rights, had my spiritual feast and went to my kitchen where I proceeded to take my fury out on onions and celery I needed to make cornbread dressing for Thanksgiving lunch instead of a person. Six days later the problem was solved and Jesus was glorified.
DIFFERENCES BETWEEN TIGER PERSONAS:
Many people know from scripture, that we are allowed to live in God’s armor. The armor given to me is this tiger mindset.
From this point on, when I’m around family, friends and loyal dependable team players I think of myself as a white tiger with bright blue eyes. When I am in competition or faced with other bullies, my mindset will be a bright orange tiger with deep yellow eyes. This cat is very suspicious and dangerous but can have compassion if spoken to with respect and through love. Ralph has that ability to bring out mercy in me.
I have another cat inside my heart that can cause my tigers to change faces quicker than the speed of light. This creature is the LION, The King of Judah! The lover of my soul! I see HIS truth through my own green eyes, which is the mixture of yellow and blue hues. His truth is the black stripe (no gray) connecting my focus to Him and keeps me steady. His stripe on me and in me is forever present whether I’m calm or in a rage.
Now you know the story of My Tigers.